My First Cigarette

I received my first cigarettes around the time I got my first iron, stove, and refrigerator. This was the sixties, and the appliances were toys. The cigarettes were candy.

Looking back, I don't know what bothers me the most these days. The fact that I was being prepared for housework at such a young age, or that I was being prepared to smoke!

We see the commercial of the woman with the hole in her throat describing how as a young girl she was encouraged to light up. We also see her depicted as a young teen admiring herself in the mirror with a cigarette in her hands. I did this as an even younger child with the candy cigarettes!

I, like her, grew up in a different time. The adults around me smoked, drank more than twice a week, and kept guns under their beds. But also, the men wore suits on Sunday, we had family dinners often, and children were expected to be respectful to adults. We emulated adults but were careful not to cross the line. We knew not to look under their beds.

I was given candy cigarettes the way kids today are given chocolate bars. The adults figured kids wanted to act grown-up and this was one way to do it. Even with alcohol, there was a 'children's version' and it was a treat for me to order a Shirley Temple whenever we went to a restaurant that served liquor. 

I also remember my first adult drink... one that was offered and poured especially for me! I was around fourteen, and it was at my next door neighbor's house in South Los Angeles. 

Our neighbor, Miss Cassie, was an older woman, probably around 60 at the time. Her husband worked at night and slept during the day. He was off on Mondays and this was the only time we would see Miss Cassie leave the house - always riding with him. Even though she stayed inside, we figured she knew everything going on in the neighborhood because she was always peeking out of her window. 

Finally, one day my mom managed to catch Miss Cassie outside and introduced herself (that's how we found out her name). After awhile, Miss Cassie would come outside to talk to my mom and eventually invited her into the house. After that, about twice a week my mom would visit Miss Cassie and some afternoons she would bring me.

We would sit in the small, tidy, dark living room and 'chat.' The drapes were always drawn. We found out that Miss Cassie's husband worked at Chasen's... a famous Hollywood restaurant that was known for its delicious chili. Miss Cassie's husband always brought home plenty of Chasen's Chili and we would sit and eat it. The women discussed the goings-on of the neighborhood and I would sit and listen. (In those days, kids weren't allowed to join in adult conversations unless asked a question.)

Miss Cassie would "serve cocktails" as she called it, and one day, with my mom's permission, she offered me a glass of Scotch-on-the-rocks... their drink of choice. I felt so grown up and 'privileged' to be joining these women in their afternoon cocktail; however, one taste of the Scotch made me sick to my stomach. (I still get nauseated just thinking about it.) I refused Miss Cassie's offer of cocktails after that.

I'm not going to say I don't drink occasionally today, but I never became a heavy drinker or developed a taste for the hard liquors. I prefer mixed drinks (I love margaritas!) or wine. Strangely enough, I also like beer. (It was the bitterness of beer that turned a lot of kids against drinking.)

But... back to those candy cigarettes. Around the same time I was holding them and pretending to inhale, I also started developing an aversion to cigarette smoke. I hated being in smoke-filled rooms and eventually would cough when exposed to smoke. My mom quit smoking around this time, although it took my dad many more years to stop. He wouldn't smoke much in the house however and never in the car. Still... as an adult I developed asthma and I think all the smoke I was exposed to as a child and teen didn't help. The Los Angeles smog might have contributed also. 

I don't fault my parents or Miss Cassie for my early exposure to cigarettes and alcohol. It would have happened anyway... possibly in a worse environment. Maybe adults in those days knew this and this was their way of trying to control things. Like I said... it was a different time.

(first appeared in Huffington Post 2/1/11)

"Tootsie"

When I was a child in Oakland, before moving to Los Angeles at age ten, our next door neighbor was a woman everybody called ‘Tootsie.’  I never knew her real name, but I knew from listening to the adults around me that Tootsie was known to hit the bottle every now and then – like everyday!   Tootsie had ten children.  (Stairsteps, my mom used to call them because that was the phrase she used in those days for multiple siblings close in age.  Today she would call them the equality unpolitically correct phrase -- bananas.)  There was a ‘Mr. Tootsie’ who would show up every now and then, but, for the most part the children were on their own.  Their house was in disrepair and the kids didn’t always make it to school.

Tootsie pretty much kept to herself.  Sometimes when my mom was hanging clothes on the line, she would venture out to say hi.  They would chat and laugh for a few minutes and then Tootsie would return to her sanctuary.

Even though most of us were only one paycheck from abject poverty, there were those on our street who looked down on Tootsie and her brood.  Some of the neighbors wouldn’t allow their kids to play with Tootsie’s children, but my mom let me play with the ones closest to my age.   She also insisted I address Tootsie properly – calling her Mrs. Johnson.  (I think a couple of her kids had that last name.) 

Once I caught a real bad flu and was out of school for two weeks. Tootsie made sure one of her children would go to my class and get the homework for me.  I also remember when my grandfather died, Tootsie cleaned herself up and came over to pay her respect.  She even brought some food over, although everyone was afraid to eat it. 

There were other “Tootsies” that I came across in my Los Angeles area neighborhoods as I grew up.  Some had money, some were destitute.  I always remember my mother telling me that it is a gift to be able to relate to everyone – from a pauper to a prince.  That was the beauty of the neighborhoods I lived in.  There were all kinds of people from all walks of life.

Today, we try to keep our children away from the have-nots in life.   Our suburban neighborhoods are pretty homogenous, so our kids may never learn about “the other side of the tracks.”  Also, they may never come to understand the saying “There but for the grace of God go I.” 

Yet I’m sure that within our pristine, well-kept neighborhoods, there are Tootsies lurking behind closed curtains.  Sometimes we see them at the supermarket, or picking their kids up from school.  They are just waiting for a “Hi how are you?” or some acknowledgment that they exist.  Maybe, instead of judging them, we need to throw our arms around them and see what we can do to help.  Someone might have to do the same for us one day.

 (First published in 2007)

Dance Alone: Women Reclaim Your Joy

This year marks the 15th anniversary of Chubby Checker's mega-hit, "The Twist." Checker himself is celebrating by performing in venues across the country.  "The Twist" is the only single to hit number one TWICE -- in 1960 and 1962. Other than being the most successful single of all time, the dance introduced a new style of dancing to mainstream America: dancing on your own.

Checker described this revolution in song and style as, "Dancing apart from the beat." Women no longer had to wait for a partner to lead the way. They were free to come up with their own steps!

This was just the start of many other freedoms coming down the road for women in the years following "The Twist," including freedom from unplanned pregnancies and the freedom to pursue careers. Still, even now, there is more to be done because most women make less than what men earn. Also, women often work two or three shifts when housework and caregiving are considered. However, women don't have to choose the limited roles of the past. Today, most women can decide when, where, with whom, and how, they will dance. Yes, there are forces beyond our control that can limit our options, but we ought not to be ashamed, or afraid, of dancing by ourselves.

Feminists probably wouldn't recognize the significance of "The Twist" in female emancipation, nevertheless, there is something to be said for dancing by yourself. It speaks to finding joy from within. Don't get me wrong, dancing with a partner is great and can be very fulfilling. Let's face it, some people love synchronized steps. However, partners aren't always available or they may not be inclined to join you.

There are times when you have to crank up the music and go it alone. Not everyone has the wherewithal, or desire, to travel the world in search of themselves like the woman in "Eat, Pray, Love." (Or was her real goal finding romance?)

Every woman has the ability to find her inner dance from right where she is now. It may be in the midst of turmoil and upheaval, or during a time of solitude and tranquility. Whatever the case, JUST DANCE!
Even though Checker exhorted women with, "Come on Baby" and, "Come Here Little Miss" no doubt, once women got on the dance floor, they realized they were on their own to twist up, down, left and right.

You ARE on your own, and it's okay! Create your own steps. Twist to your own music. Eyes closed and FREE!

(posted on Huffpo 9/2/2010)

"Follow the Money" -- Tracking Stimulus Spending

Recently, I joined ethnic media representatives from Southern California at a workshop designed to teach ethnic journalists how to track and investigate Recovery Act spending.

The event, called “The Stimulus Package and the Recession” was co-hosted by New America Media and Investigative Reporters and Editors.

This was timely for me, as I have been attempting to track stimulus funding in the Inland area. I have read about specific actions that claimed to have used stimulus funds – such as saving teacher jobs in Corona, and funding summer youth jobs in Riverside, however, I’ve had a hard time determining who decides how funds are spent, and how much goes to various geographic areas.

Our first presenter was Jennifer LaFleur, the Director of Computer Assisted Reporting with ProPublica a non-profit organization that bills itself as an “independent newsroom that produces investigative journalism in the public interest.”

Jennifer introduced us to several tracking databases on the ProPublica site which track Recovery Act money, including a database with spending by state and county. She stated that one of the first findings when researchers analyzed the data, is that “there is no relationship between where Stimulus funds are spent, and where there are areas of high unemployment and poverty.”

So what are the determining factors for spending the $787 Billion dollars in the Recovery Act? Who determines how funds are spent?

I think that summer youth employment programs and saving teacher jobs are good uses of stimulus funds..but still I questioned: “How is spending determined and where do I find this information?

Jennifer suggested several online recovery databases created by the Administration, various agencies, and state governments. Some are more complete than others, and most only give top level information.

Another tip from Jennifer is --when all else fails--simply google the word Recovery after the agency or locale name. (I thinks she means “recovery act.” I googled Riverside Recovery and got a listing of substance abuse centers…however, when I googled Riverside Recovery Act -- I was led to a page on the city’s website with a summary of Recovery Act funding by categories.)

I’m still not sure who decides how the funds are to be distributed, but at least I can “assume” that the funding listing under Workforce Training is for the summer youth program (or can I?).

Food Stamps or Economic Development?

Next up, Jean Ross from the California Budget Project reminded us of the goal of the Recovery Act when it was enacted. “Let’s remember the purpose of the stimulus, “she said. “The goal was to jump start the economy by moving money to people as quickly as possible.” She suggested the purpose of the stimulus was not to remake society, but to get the economy moving. She stated the bill had “no specific policy goals.”

Diego Alvarez, Deputy Mayor for Legislative and Intergovernmental Relations for the City of Los Angeles, said there are many federal programs that were expanded as the result of the Recovery Act…such as the Food Stamp Program, the Earned Income Tax Credit, and unemployment benefits. “Many eligible people just aren't applying” he stated, suggesting “people might be embarrassed to apply or just don’t know they are now eligible.”

The ethnic journalists, who represented, Latino, Asian, Caribbean, and African-American communities in Southern California, were especially interested in learning ways to track stimulus spending in their respective areas.

Kokayi Kwa Jitahid, from the Community Coalition of South LA, said the questions he hears from residents of South LA concern economic development and health care. “The needs in our community are great,” he said, as he discussed the desire for Recovery Act dollars to reach the empty lots and struggling health clinics of his community.

Jean Ross stated the “the biggest chunk of the stimulus money, almost one-third, is going directly to the people” citing a government study that determined the best way to get the money moving is “to give it to a poor person.” Diego agreed saying the two highest returns on investment are funds spend on unemployment and food stamps, “For every $1.00 you spend on these programs, you get $1.73 back into the economy.”

Ruben Guerra, Chairman and CEO of the Latin Business Association, took issue with the way Recovery Act contracts are awarded. He said small businesses are not being included. He described an effort by California State Senator Gil Cedillo to create a resolution requiring 25% of stimulus funding to go to small business.

Another issue of paramount concern in a state with high unemployment rates is jobs. Nick Sifuentes, from the Los Angeles Alliance for a New Economy (LANNE) said his organization is monitoring “quality of jobs, not just the quantity.” He talked of the need for ‘job accountability’ to make sure newly created jobs aren’t temporary or low end in terms of pay..

Perhaps the understatement of the day came from Guerra who said the stimulus bill “didn’t shift the paradigm” for ethnic communities. We must still fight for our piece of the pie.

Sarah Binder of the Brookings Institution, an expert on how government responds to financial crisis, summed it up back in February in an interview with NPR:

"Because there is so much money here, and in so many different forms, there is no single pathway for the money to go out to states and localities…When this bill passes, a Niagara Falls of money will flow out of Washington and into the accounts of state highway commissioners, governors and legislatures, local school boards, county executives — even mayors."

Even with the best of intentions, the Recovery Act seems destined to leave ethnic communities behind unless they can access the funding. To do that, we have to know where to look.

"Don't Make Me Have to Put Down My Cane"

Seniors are getting a little fed up with not being taken seriously. They are ready to march and protest…just like in the sixties! Senior voices WILL be heard!

Check out this story of Senior protest in Los Angeles:

Police were called on a group of retirees who refused to leave Sen. Dianne Feinstein's West Los Angeles office until she talked to them about health care reform.

Los Angeles police Sergeant Rich Brunson said Thursday that police lured the group of seven outside somehow, then locked the building's doors behind them.

Brunson had said earlier that eight people were being taken into custody, but corrected himself after getting new details from officers on the scene.

A spokeswoman for the 55- to 87-year-old activists said they arrived at Feinstein's office around noon and remained in her conference room more than six hours.

Feinstein spokesman Gil Duran says staff offered the retirees an in-person meeting with the senator during a Los Angeles visit next week but that they demanded to speak with her immediately.

Bet there will be a lot more of this in the months and years to come!

For more visit the blog Grayroots Showing.

Ethnic Media Call for Immigration Reform

This editorial was written by and produced in association with New America Media (www.newamericamedia.org), a national association of ethnic media, and was published by ethnic media across the country to bring attention to the urgency of immigration reform.

The White House and members of Congress must move quickly on enacting a just and humane immigration reform package that will reunite families, reinvigorate the economy, and remove the term “illegal or undocumented immigrants” from the dialogue in this country. Ethnic media, which reaches over 60 million adults in the United States, calls on Congress to move decisively on immigration reform because there are few issues as important to the nation's well-being as an overhaul of the inefficient, inhumane and economically debilitating immigration system. More importantly, we are also urging our readers and viewers to contact their Senators and Congressmen and let them know that immigration reform must be a national priority.

The immigration system is broken not just for 12 million undocumented immigrants, but also for specialized workers blocked from joining the American economy because of narrow quotas, and mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters of U.S. citizens who must wait for years before being reunited with their families.

Our nation needs comprehensive immigration policies that will replace a broken system of raids and roundups with one that protects all workers from exploitation, improves America's security and builds strong communities. It’s time to end the division between workers, which has allowed big business to exploit both sides. Clearly, working-class citizens and immigrant workers have much in common – dreams of better homes, education for their families and quality healthcare. There is more that brings us together, than separates us. United we can be a strong force for change, changes that that bring more workforce safety and humane conditions.

Immigration is often portrayed as an explosive, divisive issue. In reality it's not. Since the repeal of the national origins quota system in 1965, which discriminated against certain immigrants, a consensus has been building towards an immigration system that respects the country's core values. These include economic opportunity, equality under the law regardless of ethnic background, and an embrace of the world's most innovative, energetic and ambitious workers.

Now, with the country facing serious competition from workers abroad, it's more important than ever to create a world-class immigration system. It's good for families, good for communities and good for America.

New America Media, Commentary, Staff

Too Much? Obama Tackles Health Care

Those who say the President is taking on too much, remind me of a group of parents from my kid's school a few years back. They complained that the third grade teachers were assigning too much homework because they expected the students to spend at least 20 minutes a night completing assigned work. Of course, these same parents were concerned with reading and math levels at the school, and some even suggested that foreign-born students were bringing the scores down!

There comes a time when you have to get your priorities straight! With my parents, 'too much homework' would have been an oxymoron! Homework came before all other activities and I was expected to complete it...even if I had to stay up late on occasion (of course, this was usually when I left some work to the last minute...I got punished a lot for this :)

Telling the Obama administration to not tackle our health care problem, is like telling a drowning man to stop trying to get his head above water!

Health care challenges are 'killing us' literally and figuratively. Every family is either struggling with this problem, will be struggling with this problem, or knows someone who is.

We can't afford to get sick, and the American economy can't afford for us to get sick... the way the health care industry currently operates.

Money being spent on escalating health care costs, can't be spent in retail establishments, at car dealerships, for college education, to pay mortgages and debt, to buy gas, ...or most importantly, SAVED!

Doing nothing and watching millions more Americans give up on trying to pay for health care, will only cost us more in the future as they show up at hospital emergency rooms.

I am wondering....who are these people opposing health care reform?

Surely not American families who can't afford rising premiums, deductibles, and co-pays.

Surely not employers who are also faced with escalating costs to insure workers.

Surely not the unemployed who are praying for a job before their COBRA runs out (if they can afford COBRA.)

And, surely not our aging boomers and seniors, some of whom have to choose between food and medicine.

Even with everything on his plate, President Obama has to reform health care to prevent an America full of sick and bankrupt citizens.