My Life's Better than Your Life

What if folks told the truth on their online posts? We would read things like: “Can’t pay my mortgage this month… My wife left me for a younger guy…. My kid can barely tie his shoes and probably won’t be going to college… I haven’t had a date in three years…. I’ve gained fifty pounds since you last saw me….That beach vacation photo was really just sand in my backyard…”

The truth hurts and who wants to be depressed with real life? We get enough doom and gloom from the media. So, instead we get people painting the best possible light on their activities, which isn’t a bad thing…except it seems to become a competition to show who has the best life….the best activities…the best connections…the best family….you name it.

This is human nature and we all do it…however, with Social Media (SM) sites we have more of a chance to “put our best foot forward” than we would with the annual Christmas Newsletter. We can put our own “spin” on our lives no matter how inaccurate, misleading, or nauseating our posts become.

I am as guilty of this as anyone…. I once posted and shared pictures of a “wonderful” family vacation. I didn’t mention the numerous times I threatened to throw my kids out of the car, or that I didn’t speak to my husband for 200 miles because of his refusal to get gas before the low fuel light comes on.

Still…I would rather read positive posts, than negative ones. And, there is always the option to filter out “silliness.” Problems arise when people start comparing their lives to others based on posts. If someone inspires you, that’s one thing…but if you decide to do something based on what others are posting, it may be a mistake.

Many times, you have to take things with a grain of salt. Strip off some of the accolades and exaggerations. Know that everyone has challenges…but be thankful that most choose not to write about them!

Linnie Frank Bailey

Friends and Other Strangers

Can a person really have too many friends? I mean come on now…why only have a hundred friends when you can have a thousand or ten thousand. And, if friends aren’t good enough for you, how about fans? Your own private fan club!

Social Media (SM) sites have taken the meaning of “friend” to a different level. “Friending” someone on one of these sites means they have the opportunity to know more about your daily life than people you have been close to for years.

Sometimes I wish there was a different term used for these online connections. I worry that some people—the gullible and the young—might confuse their online contacts with real-life friends.

This is a quandary because most of us do converse with our “real” friends online and have also met people on the sites who became real-life friends…normally because of shared interests. However, there comes a point where there has to be some filtering of what we say and whom we say it to.

I’m sure there are sociologists studying online “friending” (at least I hope so). I remember my parents cautioning long ago: “You may not want to be friends with everyone who wants to be your friend.” The same applies on the Internet and it works both ways…not everyone wants to be friends with us!

I think we have reached a point with today’s technology where we have to assume that any post, blog, email, phone conversation, location, or picture—is available to the public. A public that consists of friends, foes, acquaintances, and strangers.

There is no hiding. Even if you are at a far away locale, sitting on a beach alone, someone can take your picture and post it for the world to see. And, what about those hundreds of people you “friend” on various sites that read your posts and know everything about you—from where you went to elementary school to your brand of toothpaste?

Celebrities aren’t the only ones who lose privacy these days: Everybody is a star!

Linnie Frank Bailey

Social Media or Social Malaise

I have friends who refuse to use Facebook or any of the so-called Social Media (SM) sites. They don’t twitter or tweet, and could care less about being linked in. If they “dig” something, they don’t feel compelled to tell the world about it.

I have other friends who spend hours each day posting to the SM sites. They share EVERYTHING with their SM “friends.” If they are at an amusement park with their kids, they give hourly updates….they share pictures of their root canal…they let us know when they are about to go to bed….it goes on and on to the point I wonder when do these folk LIVE?

I guess like most people I am somewhere in between when it comes to posting – however, I do wonder where we as a society are going with all of this?

Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE reading the posts of family members and friends I don’t talk to on a regular basis. Even those “friends” who post every thirty minutes, often have something informative to say…the question is do I have time to read it?

Here’s the deal --- who has the time to keep up with the daily activities of over 10 people (Octomom included)! I can barely keep up with the activities of my own household!

I sometimes don’t know how to respond to posts or what to think….if a “friend” who has been married for years posts that they are single, does it mean they are separated, divorced, or in the middle of a nasty fight with their spouse? Or are they just looking for a new love? (More on this in a later post this week.) And, if an unmarried friend says they are no longer single, does it mean they got hitched in Vegas over the weekend, or they got a cat? (Yes, some of my “friends” are that strange.)

How often do you use SM sites?

The next few blogs I’m going to explore this phenomenon … Some of my upcoming posts:

“Friends and Other Strangers”

“My Life’s Better Than Your Life”

“What Part of ‘married and not looking’ Don’t You Understand?

And…

“If I Reply to This Post You Will Never Speak to Me Again!”

Stay tuned and send comments….

A Deck of Cards and Thou

I recently taught my 10-yr-old how to play Gin Rummy. It didn't take her long to get the hang of it and beat ME! Now she wants to play every chance we get. Yesterday, she spent a couple of hours playing Gin with my Mom -- which took me back to my own childhood. I remember one summer many years ago when my Mom was pregnant and on bed rest. We spent hours every day playing Gin.

Sometimes when my daughter and I are playing, my 18-year-old will tear himself away from his computer screen and join us for a few rounds.

It is amazing that with all the techno gadgets these kids have, they can still have fun with a deck of cards.

Dancing in the Dark

okay...so I'm starting to get a little tired of all the bad news. It took the mainstream media forever to recognize the severity of our economic downturn, and how it is affecting everyday people, but now it seems they won't stop until they depress the hell out of Americans. The headlines on our economic malaise are staggering and can make one wonder why we bother to get out of the bed in the morning. Don't get me wrong...the reality IS bad...but sometimes we've got to DANCE IN THE DARK!

Dancing in the dark means we keep going...we keep laughing, we keep sharing, we keep moving...with ATTITUDE-- even though we can't see what's ahead. It means keeping that stupid smile on your face in spite of obstacles and challenges -- that's what I do -- ask my friends.

When is the last time you've danced? Get moving! Find some dance mates...inspirational people who won't bog you down with their drama or negativity. Get moving! Put on an old tune or find a dance song on the radio or video channel. Get moving! Dance like nobody's watching...dance in the dark!

Coming Soon to a Neighborhood Near You -- A Tent City

I pray this frightening prospect -- tent cities all over America -- doesn't come to pass. A recent story in the British national daily newspaper The Daily Mail reported on: The credit crunch tent city which has returned to haunt America.

Has it come to this in America? We know there are people living in cars and shelters. And...a rung up...there are many, many more living with family or friends. To these people, affordable housing means more than affording the mortgage on a 3000 square foot house. They are in survival mode...hustling for food, shelter, and transportation.

Now granted, we have always had a 'tent' city population of substance abusers, the mentally ill, and chronically unemployed.... but today we are seeing more working-class, AND middle-class families join their ranks. No doubt some of the people in these situations are too proud to request help from loved ones.

I sincerely believe the country will move past these hard times...we always do. However, there will be some painful lessons along the way. There will also be numerous opportunities to GIVE to those in need -- whether they ask us or not.

Homeless Students

A current MSNBC.com story 'Tidal wave' of homeless students hits schools discusses a plight I was first made aware of by a Jr. High administrator a couple of years ago. This person told me that there were a number of homeless kids at the school and that the numbers were growing.

At the local elementary school, which is in a neighborhood that for many years was considered upper middle-class, a teacher recently told me she has never seen such 'upheaval' among the students in the neighborhood....families who have been at the school for years moving out, others moving in, enrolling their children, and then taking them out a few months later when they leave the friend or relative they were staying with.

This is where we are in many communities across the country because of the dismal economy. There are no easy solutions. The problem is compounded by the fact that many who are struggling are quiet about it. I'm not sure government alone can solve this problem. Our local communities and residents will have to get involved. The problem is...in many cases....these are the very people who are struggling...